Some women suffer more adversity and have more life challenges and obstacles to overcome than others. Why is that? Is it bad luck? Is it the law of attraction? (better bloody not be I hear some of you say because that’s just stupid considering some of the hideous acts, unjust events and horrendous things that happen in life) Is it because you deserve it? (Not my words, some people actually tell me they think that) Is it because it’s your lot in life? Is it because of something you were told as a child?
Well all I can say is that if it wasn’t bad luck for me to be a 3rd generation domestic violence sufferer (each with guns involved), a 2nd generation childhood sexual abuse (my daughters were the 3rd), rape, single mum living in hiding with 4 small kids on my own, cyclic doomed relationships etc, then what was it about ME? It’s hard not to think like that. Obviously it ran deeper than being just about me but I’ll refer to that reason later.
Some people are way ‘unluckier’ than I was and it breaks my heart. Will we ever know why bad things happen to good people? I doubt it, but all we can do is share our learnings so others may not have to suffer like we did. Do you agree? The positive to come out of any of life curve balls would have to be the life ‘learnings’, if we’ve been in the right head space to get them of course. I wonder what yours are? Have you ever taken stock of them?
I remember dragging myself to a psychiatrist several times during my life, however the time I went to see this one in particular was when I’d been living in hiding for almost a year. I remember as I sat in his office, after soaking many tissues and spilling my guts all he had to say was, you’re not going mad, everything makes sense for what you are going through. Well, that was NOT what I wanted to hear. I wanted to hear you ARE going mad and we will help you now and you can go to sleep and realise it was all just a bad dream. Instead I had to simply walk out and go pick the kids up from school and live another unpredictable terrifying day.
Some of the things I went through are too horrific to discuss here however I will say that my suffering was not in vain. In fact it’s made me so strong I now know nothing can take me down.
If I didn’t eventually DECIDE to turn my life around, take stock of my learnings and refuse to continue the cycle (even if it did take me 30 years) the Institute of Women International would not exist. A cosmetic company would have missed out on at least $30,000,000 (that’s a lot of lipstick for someone who never used to wear it) in sales. I wouldn’t have written a book. I wouldn’t have been able to fund some of my children’s important milestones and travel overseas several times a year for 14 years. I wouldn’t be able to donate to charities as I like to do. The thousands of women I now know I would never have met.
In fact, its bloody scary to think where I would be. ‘Dead’ would not be an underestimation and quite probable. I was spiralling pretty badly in the end. My cycle was out of control and heading down a very steep slope FAST.
You see I found myself on the floor of a phone box in the middle of nowhere and when I sat up and looked outside over the bonnet of my car and headlights, through the windscreen I saw 4 little kids and a dog playing and I knew, in that super silent moment that life HAD TO CHANGE.
Finally I saw my life like never before. The raw truth of my accumulated life choices were staring back at me. You see after you have an epileptic fit (that was my first one ever at 30+ years old) there is this total silence where you are without your fears, emotions, beliefs, misty stained glasses of disillusion or even your wits. What was with me was just love and quiet. Pure love and in that blessed moment I knew there was no turning back EVER from the silent vow I made to myself, or what would come of my kids? They never asked for this crap. That decision was set in concrete and that was that. I WOULD CHANGE OUR LIVES FOR THE BETTER!!!!
What I learnt FIRST and foremost and I know HAS TO HAPPEN for anyone to turn their life around is to make a ‘no option’ commitment to yourself that you will DO WHATEVER IT TAKES to make life better. That was definitely THE FIRST STEP IN A FORWARD DIRECTION for us.
Thats not easy as some of you will attest to. In fact life did get worse after than BUT as I lay there in the foetal position, feeling crushed yet again, I still knew I would not go back to my old ways. I lay crying, praying I guess you’d call it. I was simply asking out loud through my tears for an ‘opportunity’. I pleaded into the nights for about a week. My prayers were answered. Was the opportunity at the time obvious? NO! Did I seize every opportunity? YES! I become bolder and put myself out there.
Wind my life 20 years forward and I have to say I have never gone backwards from that moment.
So what did it take? Well, it’s taken the commitment mostly along with educating myself on how my mind was holding me back and how to not allow that to happen by me taking over and knowing when it was just tricking me, or recognising when it was just an old habit trying to come back. There’s always a ‘test’ after a commitment and even that’s not real, its just a play from the unconscious mind.
so why 30+ years of pretty severely bad s$%T of a similar nature and then 18 years of a blessed life that has its ups and downs and losses and all sorts of things happen, however never have I gone back in financial abundance or contentment. My desire to empower other women was born from my adversity. What will be born of yours? Could your purpose lie in the learnings that stem from your adversity too? Often people find their life purpose hidden more in their struggles than their triumphs.
Bad luck does tend to follow pessimism and feeling hopelessness in plague proportions. Whenever I get pessimistic where I’m asking problem-based questions (eg. Why me? Why now?) that have no answers and not solution-orientated ones (eg. what can I do to improve this?), I feel myself slipping back. That’s when I know I have to snap out of it or it will begin the cycle again. I wake up again. HOPE comes from empowering yourself with the facts without emotion. You made it this far and you’re ok. Why think you won’t make it all the way and be ok?
We’ll never know why bad stuff happens that is tragic, and frankly I don’t think we will, however to be strong and to roll with the really bad stuff that can happen in life, it takes developing your mental muscles, being able to self talk yourself out of the darkness. It takes knowing it won’t last and that you WILL be ok. Self development, self growth and self understanding HAS to happen for life to change.
To make new choices takes a NEW mindset.
It takes understanding how your own mind works. I personally have spend tens of thousands of dollars just learning how my mind works and it’s made me much more money in return and will continue to for my entire life. AND most of all I am happier, healthier (no more epilepsy), gave up smoking and lost weight to name just a few other benefits.
Don’t be afraid to put yourself first and invest in your personal self development and improvement. I see now in hindsight that the reason for my old life story to be worth anything at all, my learnings have to be passed on. I cannot sit idly by and watch women not take action to better themselves when they are so miserable or struggling because of silly beliefs about themselves.
Challenges are a part of life, however, the cyclic nature of similar types of events or ones that make you feel in a similar state (mine was rejection and fear mainly as well as many more), you DO have way more power over than you give yourself credit for. Did you know we even inherit a pre-disposition for certain experiences to occur? Yes it’s true according to the science of epi-genetics. In fact there’s an epigenetic university near you they are that common however they intend to find a pharmaceutical solution. Take matters into your own hands ladies and experience some of our solutions to this.
That is why I am about to release a 100% ONLINE self development Course VERY SOON. Its HOW TO TURN YOUR LIFE AROUND IN 8 HOURS.
Stay tuned ladies if you are interested.
Why not share YOUR life learnings in the comments below that you’ve had over the years, especially the first biggest ones that caused you to change your ways and find more happiness. Anything that you realised that made you have less bad experiences in a certain area of your life.
What if one simple little pleasant daily habit could make your dreams be realised?
A new year brings thoughts of change. Renewed hope! Another chance to do better than ever before. It feels good too, however if the last year sucked, we don’t want to repeat the pattern so change is the only way to break that cycle. We don’t want another ground hog year.
Lets face it, change is not often easy. If it was you would have been doing that thing already and not still needing to change.
Here’s some of the New Year Resolutions we’ve heard, what’s yours?
1. Find a better relationship
2. Find a better career
3. Get healthy
4. Lose weight
5. Give up a non-serving habit that sabotages us in some way
What makes us change anything at all? Well usually its something that is not already familiar or it’s likely uncomfortable and has short term pain attached and who wants pain right?! It’s going to mean remembering to do something different to what we are used to and with so much to remember already, one more thing can feel like it could topple us if we are leading a hectic life. What if there was one little thing that would support all change, regardless of what it is, and help remove the pain part to keep you on track? Staying positive, motivated and on track is the hardest part of any achieving anything.
What’s the one thing that could support any change you decide to make that would have the biggest impact and assist your new years resolution and yet be enjoyable? What if you’ve heard of it before but you didn’t really fathom it’s potential in YOUR life or how to do it properly. You probably didn’t have it spelt out to you in real terms that lay out the very real and personal impact to YOU in YOUR life and longterm happiness and health but also short term.
Well, its not quite meditation although it could be called that. Its not just visualisation, its more than that. You see, it achieves not only calm in the middle of stress but it causes hope in the middle of doubt. Doubt is the deepest root of failure whereas stress, worry and procrastination are just symptoms. Whats the opposite of doubt? Its knowing you WILL achieve it right?! So here’s how to get the unconscious mind to ‘buy in’ to your goal too and set about supporting you to achieve it, even while you sleep.
(Feel free to print these instructions)
Ok so here’s the one thing (delivered in steps just like following a recipe) that will make the biggest impact on your chances of success and it takes just a few minutes a day.
- Choose an uninterrupted time of the day.
- Turn off all noise, devices etc.
- Go to the loo and get comfortable temperature wise.
- Sit upright with your feet on the ground and your hands in your lap with palms up.
- Close your eyes
- Take 3 deep long breaths by counting to 4 on in-breath, hold for 4, out for 4 and do that 3 times. (to clear your mind just focus on your breath)
- Create in your minds eye an ‘image’ of yourself in the EXACT moment you will achieve your desired outcome.
- Ensure you can see it in full color, notice everything, hear the sounds you will hear and notice how wonderful you feel.
- Breath normally now and you take it all in.
- Watch the movie play out and make sure you can see YOURSELF in the movie.
- When you’ve got that clear float down inside the ‘you’ that you see in the image and see it all as if you are fully experiencing it for real.
- FEEEEEEEEEEEEELLLLL the feeling. Where in your body do you feel this feeling? Is it in your chest or your tummy or where?How big is it? Turn it up a notch of intensity. Mmmmm feel it full on.
- Notice what you SEE and HEAR. Make sure its in full ‘stereo’ sound and high definition colours that are most pleasing to the eye. Soak it up for a minute or 2.
- Now float out of your body and go back to the first picture again where you could SEE YOURSELF IN THE PICTURE (most important step of all)
- See it one last time.
- Open your eyes and ask yourself what ONE THING you could do right now to move you closer to that outcome and DO IT. You’ll really feel like it. Its more powerful than anything you can do daily as you’ve included your unconscious mind in on the goal.
There you have it. A simple little CREATIVE VISUALISATION for real change. This alone can cause you to encounter freak events so you meet who you must, to do what you must, to be blessed with the pathway for it all to happen. Enjoy the results ladies. Of course our courses includes many many many processes for change.
Print that list and do it regularly and let us know how you like it. Its quick, becomes a habit and is fun and easy.
Please leave us a comment so we know what you think.
To your Life, Lifestyle, Legacy Without Limitations
Bare with me as I must share how I stumbled across this shortcut to life lessons.
My turning point occurred after my first epileptic fit at 32 years of age. What at first seemed like doom at that stage of my life, ended up being a blessing in disguise. You see after a fit the world is silent for just a moment in time. You get what I call a ‘bleep’ moment of clarity where you are without your self beliefs, your values, your anything, your thoughts, no past baggage at all, you just see it how it really is, without the defensive eyes of blame or victimhood or any of the pain from the past.
It was not when I was at the bottom (god knows there were a few) that I actually had my life pivotal moment that redirected my destiny, it was in fact when I simply had access to a moment of pure uninterrupted clarity (without any self talk) to see my life without the layers of my life’s conditioning.
In that ‘bleep’ moment I looked up from the floor of the phone box and over the headlights of my car and through the windscreen of my car. There I saw 4 little kids and a white dog and for the first time in my life I saw the accumulation of my life choices right there before me. 4 kids and a dog and we were heading away from all we knew, and headed for goodness knows where. Deep down I had a lowest of self esteem, no confidence, a lack of self trust and trust of others and I feared the future. I was full of self doubt and second guessed myself at every choice point in my past. Look where it had got me. I was up a creek without a paddle at that point in time.
I was living a cycle of self-destruction that perpetuated into a living nightmare, however to many I appeared ok on the surface. My kids were well dressed, I was doing what mothers do, putting my kids first and showing up with my ‘mask’ of ‘I’m fine’ on.
The choices I made in men particularly led yet again to taking my kids away from their friends and family. I gained the clarity that they were mostly my decisions that led me there, although I loved to blame everyone but myself, wind back far enough though and you’d find I made a choice at some point. I felt sorry for myself and had no idea any of my life was actually controllable. I felt like it was my lot in life to suffer or at least not succeed and I gave up on my dreams decades ago. Talk about a victim mentality.
Any venture I’d start I’d soon give up. What was the use, I was ‘destined’ to fail anyway I thought, UNTIL my bleep moment that was. What I learnt in that suspended brief window of clarity was that it was I who had to change, not anyone else because I couldn’t control them. The only choice of who and what I got to control originated from me, including gaining self-confidence and building myself back to whole, complete, happy and even successful beyond measure. If that was to be that was up to me. My moment of clarity put me back in control. Your learnings might be many. In fact I guarantee you will get hundreds using my shortcut method.
Until you have a bleep moment of clarity, you won’t change anything. That’s just how life is. Nothing like the truth to set you free, the truth of what is real and not what you have led yourself to believe regardless of how those beliefs come about.
My turning point led me from the lowest of self belief to believing anything is possible and that I control my life, no one else. This led me to go from an unemployed check out operator, single mother of 4 living in hiding, who’d dropped out of school at 14, who made rotten choices to becoming a successful entrepreneur who broke Australian company records leading to 30 million dollars in cosmetics sales and being the number 1 leader of women within that company in 10 countries including china. I really am not being egotistical here, I just want you to fathom what’s possible for yourself because we are talking about little old Marylin Schirmer from Flying Fish Point here. If I can change after a 32 year cycle of sabotage, what can you create given a good swipe of a clear slate??
What I’m most proud of is being a positive and proactive role model to 6 grand children and my 4 adult children now proving you can change your life if it sucks or you want a different outcome. The Institute of Women International is my newest endeavour and my biggest. I felt like sharing the story because most women don’t really know what we do as our marketing is not very clear however we are getting there.
But so what! Personal success is all wonderful for a while for anyone but well over a decade later I had an epiphany. Why was it always the same people succeeding, why no matter what I (or other leaders) taught women and shared about our strategies etc such as goal setting, consistency and plan your work and work your plan was that not enough for them to be where we were? We went off to the best guru’s (male) and accessed the best stuff out there to create change. Nope…. Just the same ones struggled and the same successful ones were successful.
I’d been trained by the best in self development and yet that wasn’t enough to help others when I passed it on to them. Some of my women wanted success more than I did. I lay awake wondering what I could do to help them. I really related to them because I was them once. I’d worked out how to be successful for myself but that wasn’t truly filling my cup, I HAD to help women who needed help. I knew I was meant to do that, I felt it was my purpose and it certainly was my passion.
I realised I HAD to devise a process that would help women to break through their inner limitations like I did so I could teach that process to women who lead or influence women so we can set women free all across the globe. I didn’t want them to have to get epilepsy for crying out loud, so at first I studied up to 18 hours a day how the female brain worked, and noticed we do it differently to men, and I realised that’s why most traditional self development doesn’t work for 4 out of 5 women. I researched Epigenetics (how we can inherit a predisposition to low self esteem and other issues from our ancestors etc) and how women’s hormones effect their brains at stages of life and stages of the month fully effecting their decision making capabilities therefore quality of success achieved. Its no longer nature versus nurture, the 3rd elemental factor is Epigentics. Its actual science and undeniable.
When you consider all of these factors you get a very clear picture of why female entrepreneurs and lots of women struggle to succeed at any area of their lives. They needed more than a bleep moment, the bleep moment would have to consider the whole woman and all of the above.
I had to consider that women already were using psychology and yet most still stayed with their self doubts, fears and anxieties. Some were using NLP but it would work on more current issues but not seem to capture the deep female suppression that’s been lying beneath the surface of many women. You name it, I know women who’d tried it and they weren’t delivering the woman the life learnings at their ‘core’ (as an undeniable knowing) so the issue and energy would return swiftly. We will simply not release an issue till we get what we needed to learn from it full stop!
Well I innovated a process after many years of research. Creatrix® is my creation that is a bleep moment stretched out over time to allow you to see for long enough to get the life learnings you’ve always needed to get, and it works in sync with the female brain/mind and scientific understanding of Epigenetics beautifully.
See what those who’ve tried it say!
You don’t have to live your whole life to learn a life lesson wasting years trying to get it. Creatrix® is a shortcut way to access that. It’s the interpretations and perspective of our life through emotions, hormonal imbalances, mind filters such as values, beliefs, conditioning and insecurities that stop us from getting our life learnings. Imagine all of that suspended long enough to get what you need to learn so you are free to make a new life path for yourself…. Well Creatrix® is just that. Its very exciting if you imagine this for women in business, women who’ve suffered domestic violence or child sexual abuse or any woman. Imagine as a leader if you work with these women having this tool in your tool box….. What women would you help with it? Let us know in the comments area below.
Imagine this process in the hands of women of influence and holding retreats of women at a time to help even more people. When the woman changes, her whole family gets happier. Its women who will change the world. We are needed to not sit around waiting for help when it’s not coming any time soon. We have to take it in our own hands.
If you are inspired to want to learn how to do Creatrix® because you are a woman who dreams of inspiring women or lead them already and just want to better be able to do that. You know we are here. 2015 courses start in February to become certified and licensed to facilitate Creatrix® for clients if you are interested or know someone who is.
Otherwise spread the word to women you know. If you just want it for yourself click on our FIND A FACILITATOR link on our menu or to learn it click on coursesand start with level 1 and complete the form to enquire.
The woman in the mirror is a remarkable person. If only you knew just HOW remarkable…
See what those who’ve tried it say!
Our minds love to run away with us, taking us down dark roads that lead to misery, regret, anxiety and heartache when most of the story it’s telling us isn’t even real or is long gone and can’t be changed anyway. Try telling that to your nervous system though. It releases the exact same Cortisol stress chemicals/hormones into your body as if it were real, so the power of the mind can lead to all sorts of dis-eases in the body, not just of the mind.Everything from Adrenal Exhaustion, to anxiety disorders as well as most diseases can be worse if not caused by such stresses that stem from our perceptions.
When it gets out of hand you end up depressed, burnt out, having panic attacks, dreading, hating and fearing everything and taking it out on those we love, and we don’t want that.
Women are not made for all the stresses of today’s life and it affects those we love. As corner stones of families, we really do affect way more than ourselves when we are in our heads too much in a negative way.
The exact same mind has the same power to take you up roads that lead to peace, joy and harmony, but how do we manage it when it’s so powerful? It’s all about continually disrupting the pattern until your mind realises you don’t want to do that old pattern anymore. You see, you gave your unconscious mind the power in the first place by simply ‘allowing’ the pattern to continue.
Here are 7 ways to keep your mind beautiful and break the negative thoughts pattern:
1. Override the head talk with better noise. The very second you notice yourself feeling bad STOP the pattern by standing up, find your music and play one of your favourite dance songs LOUD that have positive lyrics.
Or if it’s middle of the night play classical music on your ipod with earphones even if you don’t like classical music. This acts as an instruction to the mind that you’d rather listen to classical or enjoyable music than listening to the broken record it was playing.
2. Change your environment. People and places are linked to the patterns of the mind. Notice the places you go and the people who set you off or feed your negative thoughts. If it’s triggered by being alone, get onto meetup.com and go join a local group doing something, anything that causes you to interact with other humans doing something you can tolerate if not enjoy. The act of change is what it’s all about. Don’t be scared though because it can be simple small changes that make big shifts.
3. Change your routine. Routine is part of the problem and also part of the solution. To make a switch though means creating a disruptive strategy for each old trigger. For example what do you do when you first wake each day? Notice the VERY FIRST thing that leads to the thoughts. Is it standing and reading your emails on your mobile while waiting for the jug to boil? If so STOP IT.
You see, the time of day, the jug boiling and scrolling through your phone have been linked by your mind as working in sync as if they go together, so you need to un-link them. To do that you’ll have to either stop boiling the jug, change the rule you have around your mobile phone or change the time you do it.
You could start your day with a juice and a walk instead giving your mind time to wake up in a new way each day. How you start something often determines the quality of the outcome, which in this case is peace of mind.
4. Count 5 things around you that are red, then blue, then yellow. By then you will have had time to come back to being present and broken the mind pattern.
5. Do a valuable activity such as working out what truly motivates you to see if you are living in alignment with your highest values. Here’s how. Sit and ask yourself this question over and over again until you empty out your answers on paper. “What is important to me”. That is your list of values. From there you can assess your life to see if you could be doing something different or it may reflect where you fell of the life excitement wheel and where you need to get back on.
6. I know you’ve heard it before but it’s soooo important. Count your blessings. You simply cannot feel negative while doing this. It’s actually impossible. Don’t just say the same old things you think you are supposed to say. Really reflect on how lucky you are that your knees work, or your eyes, or that you live where you don’t have to grovel in the rubbish for food or that you have warmth when it’s cold and ways to cool yourself when it’s hot. Just anything small as well as big.
Imagine if you didn’t have something so you can see the real value in having it. When you are deep in a hole it’s hard but doing it anyway is still telling your mind you won’t surrender to it’s perpetual negativity.
7. Do an unexpected kind deed. When we are down we are very self focused. We only see life through our own eyes and negative filters. Go get evidence that it’s possible to feel good. It’s true that when we make someone else feel good it in turn makes us feel good.
8. This one’s a bonus. Give yourself regular check ups from the neck up regularly. Check in with yourself making yourself accountable. Like each Sunday evening see how you’re doing. If things need to change and you make this activity regular, you will get on top of it before it takes hold.
You are worth it. You only can bank on one life for sure so don’t waste it away in misery unnecessarily. Enough people have gone to their graves that way…
If you want to fast track a total mind clean out and let go of all the stuff that stops you being present and living your best life, you need CREATRIX®. Even better still become a Creatrix® Facilitator by attending our Woman’s Transformologist™ Course and help us transform women’s lives for real as a lifestyle and rewarding business.
Book a chat if you are interested to know more.
This is a before and after of a woman who was a highly paid engineer with a sound career however she felt called to help others, particularly mothers.
She knew to do that she’d have to get rid of her own ‘stuff’ and so she did whilst also qualifying as an empowerment facilitator with IOWI.
“I had to get myself right so I could be the best help to others” she said. Irina now helps others to break free.
You can too. Where else can you get qualified and release your stuff in just 1 week. Yes lifelong emotional baggage gone. The ripple effect of Irina’s breakthrough and qualification means she is a calmer and happier mother to her daughter Kira and can even teach Kira techniques so she doesn’t end up with emotional baggage therefore having a great chance at a happy well-balanced life.
Find out more about our Level 1 – Life Experience Course