So how do we get more love?
First know what it means to you….
Love! I think this word would have the most interpretations of any word in the our language.
CHECK OUT the different meanings and associations.
Love = Feel Warm and fuzzy
Love = A bond through mutual giving
Love = Intimacy, Lots of touching
Love = Having nice things done for you or doing things for someone else
Love = Hearing the words ‘I love you’ from someone
Love= Feeling special when around someone
Love= Feeling like I’m smiling on the inside
Love = Pain – past hurts – as in my case for the first 33 years of my life, I searched for that elusive feeling, waiting for someone to do it TO me.
ITS NOT A ‘DO TO SOMEONE or something’ thing I’ve learned. It’s a feeling you turn on inside of yourself. No one actually sticks it into us with a syringe, the truth is we either CHOOSE to feel it or NOT. Not consciously, BUT unconsciously, UNLESS you learn to do it Consciously, which is what I actually teach people to do.
When you feel it, you become more of a magnet to others, you find beauty in the smallest of things. Through the eyes of love, only then can it be felt from others.
We have all heard it before- love yourself, so others can love you. I am now ashamed to say that I was so miserable as a child, I taunted other children with ‘I love me who do you love’, the poor little kids just were happily feeling love and I wasn’t. It was so foreign to me I thought THEY HAD IT WRONG. It was ME that had it wrong.
I think instead of worrying about having to ‘love’ yourself, you can ‘feel’ it inside of yourself without having to aim it at yourself or anyone. You can feel love for no reason at all, if you know how to allow yourself to. Its a matter of shutting out the conditioning of ‘not’ feeling it.
TIP- GIVE it FIRST by choosing to feel it’– most of us refuse to feel it until someone switches it on inside of us. THAT’S WHY SO MANY PEOPLE DON’T FIND LOVE, we have it around the wrong way– it can’t be found, it’s either felt or not, according to the rules you have about it.
“IF he does xyz THEN I will know he loves me THEREFORE I shall turn it on and allow myself the privilege to feel it inside me where no one ever actually goes, and turn it on and aim it towards him because then he has earned it” that is what is really happening inside of you as bizarre as it sounds. Um, who gets to feel it for sure when you do turn it on? You!!! What if you could turn it on anytime and aim it at yourself? Consider for a moment…
He is still trying to work out how you feel. His love rules could be different to yours. His model of love could be a little bit different and then you get to miss out because your rules are too strict. Of course don’t settle for less than you deserve but to expect perfectionism because of silly rules based on past pain or what we witnessed growing up. Without forgiveness for unimportant things a lot of women don’t allow love to be felt.
Numerous women I have spoken to have said they don’t believe they have ever felt it. That is truly sad. I was one of them and it’s common for women when they really open up about it. Well, what is love? It’s a feeling that is good. If you make too much of it then you have it raised so high you may put it out of your own reach by applying too many rules that are simply fantasy. Women often have love distorted for whatever reason, making it ever elusive, but it’s just the unconscious rules and boundaries they have set in place.
Ditch the rules, remove them all and there love is. When you take all the rules away from yourself, all expectation removed, there love is. Don’t wait to be perfect to love yourself, is that what you say to your little daughter? No, you say you are just right, enough, perfect as you are. Well so are YOU!!!
Regardless of your weight, regardless of your skin or illness or deformities or things you’ve done or said, you are perfect because there is no one to compare yourself to. There is only one of you and so that is enough to celebrate. Love yourself, then you don’t need another to fill that space. Then you are free. Oh, and then you are extremely attractive and loveable.